To Love Or Not to Love, That is the Question...
by Kerria Aconite
Summary: song fic on julia and spike....one of n sync's song R&R plz


A/N: this is just a small song fic on one of my visions on how Spike and Julia came to love each other. It goes along with the song "Girlfriend" by 'N Sync. Hope you like! ^_^  
  
Girlfriend  
  
There was a knock on the door, and a voice on the other side. "Julia?" the voice sounded worried. I arose from my chair near the window and franticly wiped my eyes clear of the new tears that lay on my cheeks. "I'll be right there…" I ran into the bathroom and splashed my eyes with water. "Coming!" I grabbed a towel off its rack as I ran to the door and opened it. "Sorry, I… Spike?" I looked up as my eyes met two different colored brown eyes. His green hair was lying damply on his head, soaked by the rain. His jacket still dripping with the drops. "I was just…washing my face." I said, quickly making up a lie so he wouldn't know I had been crying. "Come in." I moved out of the way as he entered my small apartment. "Julia, why did you leave when you found out that Vicious wasn't going to come tonight? You looked so upset. Will you tell me please?" I didn't look up at him. "I wanted Vicious there, but I've seen little of him lately. I miss him. It's almost as if he's ignoring me, I thought he loved me. I mean if you love someone you spend time with them right?" Spike pulled me towards him. I laid my face on his wet shoulder and started to sob. "Julia…I just don't know what to say…" he rubbed his arm on my back in a slow, circular motion. "I…I don't think he loves me anymore Spike." I mumbled through sobs. "Julia…" he whispered into my hair as he nuzzled against my head.  
  
  
  
I don't know why you care  
  
He doesn't know you're there.  
  
'Cause he don't love you eyes  
  
And he don't love you smile  
  
Girl, you know that ain't fair  
  
  
  
Spike continued to rub my back, swaying gently now. I wish I could have said something. The silence was almost deadly. Spike was so perfect; he didn't even have to say anything to make me feel better…Vicious never even tried.  
  
1 The middle of the night, is he gonna be by your side  
  
Or will he run and hide  
  
You don't know, 'cause things ain't clear  
  
And baby when you cry, is he gonna stand by your side  
  
Does the man even know you're alive  
  
I got an idea…  
  
Why don't you be my girlfriend  
  
I'll treat you good  
  
I know you hear your friends when they say you should  
  
'Cause if you were my girlfriend, I'd be your shining star  
  
The one to show you where you are  
  
Girl you should be my girlfriend  
  
I looked up at Spike and he wiped away a stray tear. "I think we've gotten across that Vicious just doesn't care anymore," he stared at me with a somber look on his face, "but, do you still care?" I looked him, my thoughts swirling in my head. How could I ever say anything but yes? What if Vicious did still care? I would lose it all if I said no. But what about Spike? Look at him, he cares. He's showing he does right now… I urged that little voice to leave; I could never betray him…but what about me? What about what I want?  
  
Does he know what you feel  
  
Are you sure that it's real  
  
Does he ease you mind  
  
Or does he break your stride  
  
Did you know love could be a shield  
  
2 The middle of the night, is he gonna be by your side  
  
Or will he run and hide  
  
You don't know, 'cause things ain't clear  
  
And baby when you cry, is he gonna stand by your side  
  
Does the man even know you're alive  
  
3 I got an idea…  
  
Yes, what about me? What about how I feel? What about what I want? Here Spike is showing he would care and listen to me, but Vicious, sure at first he did. At first I actually loved him, but now? He just isn't the same anymore…he doesn't care about me. He's changed. And I believe I need to also.  
  
  
  
4 Why don't you be my girlfriend  
  
I'll treat you good  
  
I know you hear your friends when they say you should  
  
'Cause if you were my girlfriend, I'd be your shining star  
  
The one to show you where you are  
  
Girl you should be my girlfriend  
  
  
  
Ever since I saw your face, nothing in my life as been the same  
  
I walk around just saying your name  
  
Without you my world would end  
  
I looked around this whole damn place and everything says you were meant to be  
  
My girlfriend  
  
  
  
"Julia, only you can decide if you want to move on, you can only decide if you still care. But ever since I first saw you standing next to Vicious like you were an item for him to show off, I knew I was ready to move from friend to someone you can trust, love." Spike looked at me, his gaze deepening until it felt he was me, both of us one. I couldn't speak. This would change the way I lived, the way I loved. Of course I still had hope for Vicious and myself…but those thoughts seemed so far away now. Like an odd dream that doesn't seem possible. But here was Spike, loving me. My distant dream in my hand. I was in my dream's hands. "Spike…" he hushed me with a finger. When he removed he lowered his head and kissed me. I didn't push him to release me, but instead urged the kiss to become deeper. I had decided, I had moved on…  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
A/N: R&R plz plz! And this is for YOUR pleasure and nothing else! ^_^ 


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